For those of you who don’t know: the Parent Showers are where you go to shower here at the hospital when you’re kid is inpatient. It’s a lovely, spa-like experience with aromatherapy candles, hot mineral showers, fluffy white robes and complimentary shower shoes that fit just right!
No, really… it’s one-of-two over utilized and under cleaned shower/toilet/sink-in-a-rooms. Some parents are good about cleaning up their mess of water on the counter when they leave, and some aren’t. But that’s not even the basis for my rant.
This week I’ve had the pleasure of running into the same woman three times over there in the spa. Apparently She has a child here at the hospital. Apparently the rest of us are just here for the pedicures.
Day 1, 6:30am: I’m waiting patiently for one of the showers to open for about 10 minutes. I’m talking with Andy on the phone about scans, pain, Max in general. She arrives. The shower opens, I go in and shut the door. I’m still on the phone while I clean up the counter so I can set my stuff down, get my soap and toothpaste out (not provided by the spa concierge), PEE (I would like to note that I actually went pee while on the phone with my husband. Eww.), ya know – the stuff you do before getting in the shower. What’s it take? 2-3 minutes at the most. She starts knocking on the door! “Hey! Are you gonna shower or just talk on the phone?” She says in a really pleasant voice. “I am peeing!” I reply warmly, “Wait your turn. I just got in here!”
I immediately begin practicing my relaxation techniques that I learned as I waited patiently for my turn in the (freekin’) shower: breathe in breathe out. Everyone here has child in the hospital and we’re a little stressed about leaving them in their rooms alone. She is the same.
So (yes, I’m still on day one), I take my 3 minute luxury shower with the most fantastic water pressure and shower head you would ever hope to have available. I get out, start drying off and She starts knocking on the damn door again. You’ve got to be kidding. Where is that concierge? Can’t she help She? I think She had a facial appointment and didn’t want to late. Who could blame her? The facials are awesome here. I finally float out the door (I’m practically high from the indulgence I’ve just experienced) and She brushes past me with a grunt. I hope her shower was as great as mine. I deliberated on whether I should hang out and knock on the door every 60 seconds…
Day 2: read paragraph three from above and you’ll get the idea. I swear She knocked every minute until I came out. She must love those showers.
Day 3: was this morning. She wasn’t out there when I went in or came out, but paragraph 3 started to happened again with the knocking and huffing and puffing and throat clearing. I think She heard the familiar sounds of me shuffling and zipping my bath bag and made a run for it.
Can I get a flavored sparkling water to take back to my room? I feel so great.
9 comments:
Maybe it is the wonderful Boston attitude that I have refined over the years but I would have had a delightfully sarcastic and witty rant for her... next time call me! Nice ABC work on your part... I am VERY impressed.
Did I laugh? Yes, I did... out loud! When Max is well again and you have to look around for something to do, pick up a pen and write. You have a way with words that will sell! And when you run into "She" again let her know you were the one in the shower and throw something wet at her, like a water balloon!
Glad you're home and safe in your own bathroom! Ur Mom
"She" is lucky she didn't run into my real sister in those showers!!! I could read your stories forever!!
Love ya!
I suggest you get one of those toys that make a sound of fart, you know , those you use for prank. Next time SHE comes banging, just squeeze it a couple of times. Maybe she might go away thinking that the bathroom will not smell like a spa with lavender.....Shiho
This is too funny!!!!!!!!!!
I have been to this same 'spa' in 2001 for 11 months. I guess the other parent didn't tell you that 'She owns that shower' or at least she would like to think she does.
Remember the breathing and relaxing...
Amy.
Mom of Angel Delaney, Kevin and Shelley
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO AN AMAZING MOMMY!!
Love,
Bree
Melissa,
I Love your blog!! Just discovered it !!
I have to admit Paul keeps me updated with the news about Max and all the brave warriors we know. My little way of keeping up without sleeping at the computer and crying all day--(it seems there was no happy medium for me).
Ah, the lovely hospital shower. Brings back memories of hairy drains and scratchy towels.
Keep up the good work!
Nina B
Melissa,
I read your blog regularly. I pray for you and your hubby - you are so strong and Todd and I can't imagine your daily struggles. It makes me cry right now to think how your life changes and you adapt and fight to protect your children.
Please know that you are in our prayers. I was so upset with the latest set-back, but you will continue to be my prayers and Max will feel better soon! I am in awe of your strength and wonderful writings!! It keeps us up to date without bothering all of you.
But I write this to convey that I think and pray for you often and have thought about writing you since you showed frustration with 'friends' that are not always showing support.
You have our support from Glendora and next time you visit Disneyland - give us a call. We were there the week after you. Of course, our daughters were screaming that they missed the cast of HSM!!
Love you all, Nancy Rice (and Todd too!)
PS = I think the whopee cushion is the way to go on your shower, no, your spa experience! Might be fun!!
Hi Melissa
I have been following Max's treatment. I'm so sorry. I'm completely routing for him.
As for your rantings, they are a very refreshing dose of bad attitude admist a sea of brave and measured blogs that we all post about our kids.
In New York City, we are all very nice to eachother at the parent showers.
Nancy Goodman
caringbridge/visit/jacobfroman
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